


Details

by psithrisma



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Photographer, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten & Suh Youngho | Johnny Are Best Friends, Difficult Decisions, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Injury, M/M, Marriage, Mentioned Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Photography, Romantic Soulmates, Soft Kim Jungwoo (NCT), Soulmates, Suh Youngho | Johnny-centric, Weddings, Workplace, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:35:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28387113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psithrisma/pseuds/psithrisma
Summary: Johnny knew it would have ended like that.A man so smart, good-looking, affectionate, beautiful in every single thing he does like him would have found, sooner or later, someone who could fall deeply in love with him, someone who was already trained to fame, and they would have just married, sharing that burden without regrets. He knew, he told himself that for 5 whole years.But despite being aware of it, it still punched him straight to his face.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Kudos: 19





	Details

It's been 5 years since the last time that that finger stopped bleeding. So it's been 5 years since he cut it by mistake.

He never was a clumsy person, never. Distraction has never been part of his personality. He liked to think of his mind as an overflowing archive of details: he still remembered the smell of his first house in Chicago, his very first gift received from his very first friend, the brand of his mother's shampoo, the odd way his school teacher mispronounced his last name and, above all, the clearest sky he had ever seen that day when he decided to cut the ocean in half and move to South Korea.

That day of five years ago, he felt like the clumsiest person in the whole world though. 

He was holding something that could never be thought of as a weapon but in that exact moment it broke his heart and cut his finger.

It was only a piece of paper, he thought. A piece of paper never hurts anybody. While he was quickly holding his finger back from that angle, that was already painted in red, he began to lose himself in the thought of paper. How can it look so simple to anybody and yet so evil to me right now? I literally crossed the world, lived a terrible adolescence, tried to follow a dream of fame and accepted its deeply depressing end. I reached out to loneliness when I was not supposed to know about it at all. I never cried.

But that day of five years ago, a tear fell on his bloody finger, while that criminal piece of paper was lying on the ground. It said: 

_"I just can't do this to you._

_T._ " 

It's been 6 years since the day Johnny agreed to end his contract at SM Entertainment. 

He never recovered from that terrible dislocation and, as the industry of that foreign country teaches, one just cannot pursue and satisfy their own weaknesses. It had been truly devastating for him, considering that it happened one step away from the debut, but then he just had to passively accept it. When you know how it works, there's no much else to do.

He, on the other hand, had always been a positive and optimistic one, full of passion in whatever he did, he would surely have found something else to enrich his beautiful mind's asset. All his friends, who made it instead, repeated it to him to the point of exhaustion back then, but he already knew it in his heart. 

The only one who didn't say a word about it was that small, thin boy, so thin that Johnny had always been reluctant to touch him, because he was afraid of ruining him. 

But he already knew this in his heart, too. That small, thin boy wouldn't say anything.

The path they walked together to that exact moment was pretty tough, in a way they could have never imagined. 

When you are stuck in the middle of that kind of life, you just know you can't be a normal boy, with normal behaviors, normal interests, normal hobbies. And, mostly, you can't just live your feelings normally. Because yes, of course at 20 you die to feel something, to fall in love like everyone else, to put all the affection you matured in a lifetime into somebody else. 

Johnny had never experienced something like this, until someone put their affection in him and taught him to do the same, just like a master and his favourite pupil.

He took his big hands and guided him to do so, in the sweetest way. It felt like Johnny's mind, in that exact moment, was the clearest it had ever been, clouds ran away as if it was the most windy day he had ever lived. He felt like that was the purest feeling he had ever felt. In that moment, he was full of somebody's else love. 

He couldn't believe it. He never realized it until that exact moment. T laughed so hard when he told him.

 ** _"It's been YEARS."_** he shouted.

" _ **I felt so ridiculous... but I just thought: he would never get it. Let's just scream it like... the loudest. Straight to his face."**_

His smile was so sweet though. He knew it was all worth it.

After that, they started to build a little, peaceful microcosm for each other, in that world full of chaos. 

Johnny always dreamed of how it would feel like to relive his favourite details again, every moment of his early years, every comforting memory, every clear sky, every bottle of his mother's shampoo, again and with him. And he told him about it a million times. 

He dreamed about taking him to Chicago in every single moment spent in that microcosm. But he just knew it was impossibile. 

Nevertheless, T laughed every single time, and whispered, softly, that it would have been so amazing.

But then they came back to the crazy rhythm of that bittersweet captivity. 

When you gain a position of prominence, there's a lot of thing you can do and above all a lot of things you can't do. You can't just think you can drag someone into that kind of life if they didn't choose it just like you did.

Although he actually chose it, that life didn't choose him back. Maybe that's what T thought. Maybe he just knew he couldn't drag Johnny without consequences . 

That day the sky wasn't as clear as it was in his memories of Chicago. It was raining a lot.

His obsession for aesthetics led him to take a camera in his hands. Firstly he did it for fun, to take his favourite details out of his mind and collect them. Time passed by and thanks to the beautiful and breathtaking corners he shared with the world on social networks, a professional agency got in touch with him.

" **Tomorrow you will assist Jungwoo. Celebrities' wedding. No name obviously. Don't share details with anybody and please... I'm begging. Don't show up if you are going to wear one of your awful hawaiian shirts. 'Later**." the boss said, hanging up before he could even think of a reply.

 _'My amazing shirts ain't for everybody'_ he thought. 

Jungwoo called him outside minutes after sunrise, he immediately realized it would have been one of the longest days, so he took a coffee in rush and got to his colleague's car. 

It was so comfy and clean, luckily, because the journey would have been a long one. He smiled, thinking about the details that time he got in his friend's first car.

 **"I miss the little green van every single day**. **"** he said, sighing.

 **"I would challenge you to find something better with that budget. Prick."** Jungwoo puffed with his toddler-like voice, then he got the car started.

Three hours passed but incredibly fast. Spending time with him was one of his favourite things ever. Jungwoo was a colleague but, first of all, a true friend. One of the truest he had ever had. They talked for hours everyday and he knew everything about him. Almost. The dorm era excluded.

Johnny really wanted to talk to him about it, he just knew it would have been better and Jungwoo would have been as helpful and understanding as ever. He just couldn't process the whole thing, bringing it out of his head.

Jungwoo knew there was something up, something missing. But he never asked.

 **"Go there and take this"** Jungwoo said, giving Johnny a camera lens and dragging him to the corner of the room.

**"Spouses are going to be there soon I guess. Let's take some test shots with them"** he looked down to his chest **"and we are lucky enough you are not wearing one of your palm shirts today. Damn lucky."**

**"What about my shirts today?!"** Johnny said out loud. His friend walked the room giggling.

The door opened and Johnny could hardly hear the steps of the person who walked in, he was focusing on his camera lens and fingers only.

Once he blocked it, he looked away and whispered **"Ok good. Done. We can start whenever you feel read-"** but words melted on the tip of his tongue, as soon as he looked at the groom.

The features that were framing his kind expression were exactly as he remembered. The smooth lines of his face were like a melody stuck in his mind, one of those songs you don't think you know until you hear it for the first time in a while and then you can't take it out of your head. 

His eyes were as sweet as ever, big and cat-like, stuck on Johnny for a moment that seemed to last for a lifetime.

A black tuxedo fitted his slender figure like a second skin, his little, feminine and delicate hands were floating, motionless, holding a button that was supposed to be buttoned, but the moment was frozen, he felt like the whole world just paused.

His hair seemed to be as soft as ever, he couldn't recall how many times Johnny's finger crossed it like he was born to do so. His little button nose was still his favourite thing about him, it was red because of the winter cold but he thought it had never been as beautiful as it was in that exact moment. 

Johnny opened his mouth like a reflex, he wanted to say something so bad but he suddenly forgot his whole multilanguage vocabulary. 

The boy in front of him, that day back to 5 years ago, wrote that post-it. His little and delicate fingers held that pen. That beautiful mind of his, framed by the softest hair he had ever touched, considered the thought that cursed his whole life forever, although he already knew it would have happened.

Johnny's mouth was still open, there were so many things he wanted to say that they made it impossibile for him to choose the first one. 

T finally spoke.

 **"Johnny..."** his eyes full of surprise suddenly became melancholic.

" **You are still the same as I thought about every single day."** Johnny interrupted, like the words were being thrown up after being paused for a instant that seemed an eternity.

An endless moment of silence followed. 

Jungwoo, who was in the opposite corner of the big room they were in, watched the whole scene confused as hell, but when Johnny talked he finally realized what was that "something" that was missing.

 **"So you will get married today."** Johnny added straight forward. Ten lowered his eyes, looking at the floor.

 **"So I'll get married today."** he said, but then he immediately added **"with one of us."** , slowly. 

Johnny took the camera in his hands and pulled it closer to his face **"and I'm here to work".**

With a wave of his hand, he made him back off, Ten shook his head, like he wanted to wake up, to get back to reality.

Johnny knew it would have ended like that. 

A man so smart, good-looking, affectionate, beautiful in every single thing he does like him would have found, sooner or later, someone who could fall deeply in love with him, someone who was already trained to fame, and they would have just married, sharing that burden without regrets. He knew, he told himself that for 5 whole years. 

But despite being aware of it, it still punched him straight to his face.

He tried to take some pictures, but his hand shaked so bad. Ten looked at him, apprehensively, he wanted to do something but he didn't even know what.

It always worked like that between them.

Johnny was like an unscalable wall, Ten learned how to make himself a home between the bricks. 

During those 5 years, that wall became a whole fortress, Ten didn't forget how to do that but he was scared it couldn't work anymore.

He was scared that he was not that person anymore. He couldn't know that he still would have been that person for Johnny for his whole life.

While his mind was in a complete chaos, a hand touched Johnny's shoulder softly.

 **"Let's get some fresh air, okay? I'll deal with it myself"** Jungwoo said calmly. The american boy nodded.

He didn't even realize how, but he found himself inside Jungwoo's car, he literally dived in and took his face between his big hands.

He swore he would have hated details from that moment on. He realized how heavy was the burden of remembering everything. It would have been so nice just to forget, his story shouldn't have been like that, he thought that the story he told himself during all these years was just a story, indeed.

Fame was the worst monster of them all. It forced him to have everything just to know how it works, and then lose it all. 

It would have been perfect if he just hadn't taken that decision. It would have been perfect if that sky had been the worst, the cloudiest, if that morning in Chicago had been stormy as hell and if he hadn't taken that flight. 

That dream disappeared, but it also took everything he knew. That day he didn't just interrupt his career, he lost the love of his life. The love he didn't know he deserved, the love he didn't even dreamed about.

The love he would have taken that flight for a million times.

His story gifted him with a little piece of heaven and he was extremely grateful. But how difficult is to step out of heaven once you know how it is. 

While he was lost in his thoughts and tears were streaming down his boney cheeks, tears so heavy he thought they would have created holes on his face, he heard something.

The car door on his right opened, probably Jungwoo reached him to ask him to come back inside and try to do his job properly. 

He tried to dry his face as best as he could. He had never felt so ashamed his whole life. 

He turned his head and tried to talk to his colleague, but he was shocked by the figure he saw in front of him.

His eyes met those sweet eyes again.

His soft hair was matted, he probably ran to that car.

His feminine finger rested down to Johnny's leg, softly.

The black tuxedo that used to fit him as a glove was ragged. 

His thin lips were trembling. 

While Johnny was trying to memorize as many details as possible, because he was damn sure it would have been the last time he could try to, Ten smiled softly and finally said the words Johnny dreamed about for a lifetime.

**"Take me to Chicago."**

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! First of all, thank you if you read the story. It means a lot to me. Second, it was originally written in italian, my mother tongue and then it was translated so if you find (and you surely will) errors please feel free to correct! Thanks to my friend Elena for helping me in the translation!!! Hope you liked it.  
> Giulia


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